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[juhua]

@san lang

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[dianxie]

San Lang ...

[ His sweet husband. ]

Please be more selfish with me, I don't mind it at all.

[juhua]

More selfish?

[ the bewilderment is probably obvious in hua cheng's tone. wym more selfish when he's already doing such a mid job of being a good husband lmao ]

I mind it, gege. I ask far too much of you already, how can you tell me to be more selfish?

[dianxie]

San Lang! [ !!!!! ] I like it when you show how you feel. It doesn't have to be considered romantic by other people, if it's your true emotions that's what I want. That's what I care about! So you can be selfish, it's alright.

[juhua]

[ a quiet, sad laugh at that. ]

I showed you before, how ugly and hateful I can be. When we fought in the other Roost. All it did was hurt you.

[ and frankly hua cheng would sooner destroy his own ashes than hurt xie lian like that again, least of all on purpose. he can't do anything about how this place manipulates them sometimes, but he can at least keep himself under control otherwise. ]

[dianxie]

In the moment? Maybe. But I'd rather you were honest and made me feel bad rather than pretended.

[juhua]

It's... difficult. For me. To share like that, the things that frighten me, the things I feel... and to know that it won't change anything. Maybe that's silly. I'm not very good at this, as you've surely understood by now.

[dianxie]

Neither am I, my love. Hah.

You really worried I might bring someone back to our room? I could never. I love the lanterns and the red of it all, it's like being home again with you.

[juhua]

I'd hoped you wouldn't. But if you did want to, how could I bring myself to stop you? Gege's happiness has always been paramount to me.

[ and there is nothing hua cheng wouldn't do, nothing he wouldn't give up if it meant his husband was satisfied. ]

[dianxie]

As is yours to me. You ought to know that by now, I hope.

[juhua]

I do know it, of course.